Collecting Cars is not for Joe the Plumber.

My copy of Hemmings Motor News arrived yesterday. If you don't know what that is, it is essentially the car collector's Bible. Now, while I love to read about classic cars, and study them in some depth (my collection of Classic & Sports Car magazine goes back to 1992!) I have never had the guts to take collecting them seriously - although now is beginning to look like a good time to begin (wait six months though).

While I lived in Brazil, we did own a 1968 Karmann Ghia (a mere 20 years old at the time). It was locally made by Karmann with the obligatory Volkswagen mechanicals, and was in absolutely pristine condition. And then I drove it around town. The drum brakes were fine if you drove slowly, but in stop and go traffic it became a battle between my thigh muscle and the need to stop before I hit the car in front. It is little wonder, then, that one of the biggest problems with collecting these cars is finding one whose bulbous front nose is original and unrepaired. It was slow as well. But it did, however have great charm, and the lines are nothing short of timeless.

Here, then, is the first obstacle to car collecting. Most amateurs are looking for something to drive on a regular basis. However, cars built 30 years ago are, in general, less powerful, noisier, handle worse, and have deplorable fuel economy. They make odd noises whose source defies detection. For all the charm and desirability, once you have driven a modern car you like, driving a classic every day becomes a case of your ability to induce voluntary amnesia of driving your new Lexus (or even your old Lexus). And if you did not know about the Karmann Ghia nose business, you may have just bought a car for a lot more than it is worth.

The second obstacle to Joe is choice. You have to begin by asking yourself a few searching questions. Why am I buying this car? Is it an investment? Do I want a car like Dad had when I was six? Do I think it is a thing of beauty? If you are buying a classic as an investment, forget it. Most single-car collectors have no idea if the car is going to appreciate in value. No-one really knows what a car's value will do, although there are ways to make educated guesses. Current rarity, original manufacturers production numbers, popularity at the time, famous design, etc. are all indicators. But remember that with any old vehicle you will have to spend increasing amounts of money to keep it roadworthy over time, especially as parts become rarer.

Do you want to drive Dad's 1967 Country Squire? Your memories of this car will clash with reality: there is no stain on the carpet where dear old Rover threw up, and the gum you stuck under dad's seat won't be there (trust me). However, nostalgia can make a rational person do odd things. In some cases, the vehicles bought under these circumstances are true classics and/or have a prominent place in automotive history. Most of the time, however, these vehicles are the ones that we love most, and that is a good enough reason to fork over your cash.

If you are buying the vehicle because you think it is a thing of beauty, congratulations, you are a true gear head. The problem for Joe here is that if your idea of beauty is a 1978 AMC Gremlin, that's fine, but don't expect everyone to share your enthusiasm - or agree with your asking price if you decide to sell.

So Joe, if you are reading this, or even care about classics, here is my advice: Buy one. Just one. And make it one you really, really want. And keep it. Car collecting (IE more than one) as a hobby or an investment is not for you or me. If you win the lottery, however, let me know. I have some hot tips for your collection.